Morbid Book Club : Postmortem by Patricia Cornwell

[00:08] This episode is brought to you by Ashley. [00:10] As the largest furniture store brand in North America, Ashley can help you create a comfortable, functional, and stylish home that you can feel proud of, and in a price range that works for you. With Ashley's lifestyle-driven designs, you don't have to choose between being practical and being stylish. Visit your local Ashley store or head to ashley.com to find your style. [00:30] Music. [00:35] Hey weirdos, I'm Ash. I'm Alayna. And I'm Chef Riley. And this is a special book club episode of Morbid. [00:54] Yay! We have Chef Riley Meehan on the pod today, who just released his first cookbook, [01:05] It's a beauty. It's extra, just like me. It's a beauty, and we're going to put it here. I love it. You can see it. It's so good. It has so many different things in it. That's what I love about it. Thank you. Yeah, there's definitely something for anybody. Like, I wanted to run the gamut and give something to anybody who wants to try cooking. I like your little, like, instruction part, too, where it's like, cook it, like, read it through first, cook it the way that I cook it, and then do your specialties next time. Yes, 100%. [01:35] and actually read the recipe through. It's like rule number one, read the recipe through all the way. But yeah, I want people to riff off stuff. I want it to be dog-eared and noted up and make it your own. I love that.

[01:46] It's such a good one. And I like the little like instructions about like what kitchen tools to buy, all of that. So having to buy these kitchen tools. That's actually huge because I have a lot of cookbooks and that's rare to have in a cookbook. I want to make sure people are like set up for success. Because it sucks when you like set everything up and you're like, let's go. And then they're like, all right, use this weird strainer that you don't have. And you're like, what about the sous vide machine? And you're like, why would I own a sous vide machine? I don't have that. I can't door dash that right now. No, I love this. Damn. I love it so much. [02:16] Yeah. [02:17] All right, so everybody make sure to order a little bit extra, which came out today. It's out today! It's out today! And it's available where? Literally anywhere. You can Amazon it, Walmart, Target, your local bookstore. Gotta love the local bookstore. Yeah, literally anywhere. All right, perfect. We get it. And we're going to put the link to where you can order in the show notes. So go click that link. Click it. Buy it, buy it, buy it. All right, so you just released your book. Yes. Patricia Cornwell, our girly, released her first book 30-something years ago. It's true. [02:47] And we are here to talk about post-mortem. Hell yeah. Post-mortem. Which... First book. First book ever. You read this book... In the Kay Scarpetta series. When you were how old? Yes. [02:56] I think I was like 10. [02:57] That's wild. Which, like, why did I do that? I was born when it came out. You were born in 1990? Yeah. I was five. I wasn't alive. I was five. I think my mom was still in high school. Damn. Maybe. I'm not sure. I don't know her life. Yeah, because I was five. I do remember seeing my mom read Patricia Cornwell books all the time growing up. So this was a fun one to dive into. Hell yeah. This is really fun. I remember you talking about Patricia Cornwell, like, for as long as I can remember. But I had never picked one up. I don't even know why, because now I'm like, I want to read all 29 of them. Yeah, so good.

[03:27] oh like i love k and k just gets better and better that's good to know she evolves a superstar she does she evolves in a big way during the series love it love it love her also the show just came out yeah i think by the time you guys are listening to this yeah definitely came out so i'm excited to watch that i know that it will probably spoil some like future ones but i'm willing to do that i'm willing to dive in yeah so i think what it does it's like a dual timeline where it covers this book post-mortem and then the second timeline is going to cover [03:57] I think it's like the 25th book. Wow. So it's a big time jump and they'll cover both timelines. Fascinating. I think you can watch some of it after this and not get spoiled. But the other one, you'll get spoiled, quote unquote. But there's also like 29 books to read. And a lot of bad guys. Might take me well. So it's like you're really only spoiling one. [04:16] one like storyline and they cast um nicole kidman and she looks phenomenal like does she age like what the fuck i saw a recent interview with her and i was like what she's just always perfect yeah literally like lilo how lilo just emerged and you were like why do you look like a newborn baby come out of your mother's womb and that's how nicole kidman looks now she really does i was like whoa i'm like maybe she microneedles hey as somebody who just got microneedling done [04:46] Can you tell? Can you tell? Do you see this low? I support. I know. This butterskin. All right, so we thought we could start off by playing some chef slash medical examiner questions. Yes. Do you want to just go back and forth on these? Yeah. All right, I'll start. All right. So, Riley, if Kay came into your restaurant pop-up, Kiko, everybody listening, after solving a brutal case, what would you cook for her to, like, restore her faith in humanity? It's a tall order. It's a tall order, but I think I'm up to the task. I think you are. So...

[05:14] She's our Italian queen, so I had to do a pasta, of course. So I think I would do, like, a red wine braised short rib ragu. Oh, shut the fuck up. Some, like, fresh made pappardelle pasta. Oh. And just, like, some slutty garlic bread. Yes. Because, like, you can't go wrong with that. That would restore my faith. I need that right now. Right? And, like, maybe a little side of burrata for dunking with some pesto on it. And then I don't think we touched on it in the book, but I feel like she loves dark chocolate. Oh, yeah. I get that from. Yeah. [05:44] you think she like snacks on dark chocolate so i feel like a dark chocolate budino like an italian pudding oh with a little olive oil and flaky salt oh this is a chef oh i'm a real chef guys yeah i promise i am a real chef it's my job that's a brilliant meal right and that that like checks off the assignment that would restore her faith in humanity like life is worth living yeah she'd be like you know what it's all fine yeah let's wake up tomorrow how long do you cook your short [06:14] Okay. I mean, it'll depend the size, but like three hours. Okay. Two and a half, three hours. If they're bigger, you might need to go up to like three and a half. That's what I do. Yeah. Three and a half. Yeah. All right. So they're like. As long as they're like fall apart. I mean, you can always just like chuck them back in the oven and cook them longer. That's what the beauty of short ribs are. I love short ribs. I do too. I think that would be my last meal is short ribs. Ooh. And like garlic mashed potatoes. Damn. Yeah. You gotta have potatoes. Absolutely. You have a whole podcast about final meals. Yeah. That's what you're coming back for next time. It's true. We're already cooking you. Next time I need to cook for you guys. Yes. Oh my God. [06:44] Can we just go to the kitchen right now? Yes, let's go. Cancel the pod. See what I got. Guys, we're leaving. We're done. Bye. Bye.

[06:51] So the next question is a strange one. But I used to work in a morgue. Obviously, everybody listening knows that. What casual drop. I know. [07:00] Fuck in my morgue days. Fuck in my morgue days. And between cases, you get hungry. Okay. You have to go back to the office and you got to eat something real quick. And you need something that's going to keep you going. So what would you make for Kay Scarpetta to bring his little morgue snack? Can I give a chaotic answer? [07:21] I feel like you have to avoid meat. Yeah. After like poking and prodding around on a dead body. So I'm going with like a tofu curry or something. Because it's going to be filling. You get your protein hit. Okay. And I feel like also you might want something aromatic to kind of mask the smell of the morgue. So like a lemongrassy red curry tofu with some rice. And you don't want to be picking anything up. I don't think either. You don't want to be eating with your hands. You want some utensils. [07:51] You can spoon. So that's, I know that's like a little out there. No, I love that. I like it. [07:56] I really love that, especially like the lemon flavor. I think it's perfect. A little brightness. Yeah, a little brightness. Yes. [08:03] It's a little stale in there. A little musty. You came home a few times smelling interesting. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And I came home. One of the things that's crazy, this is just a little side thing, is the smell will get in your throat. [08:16] So when you eat things later, it will taste like the smell. I went out to dinner with John once after like a shift and I had showered. I'd done all the things and I was sitting there eating.

[08:28] And I was like, [08:29] it tastes like this. I'm a little mortified at that. Yeah, that's crazy. I've heard that story a million times and I'm mortified every time. Fair enough. My only experience like that is that I used to work like the fish station at a restaurant and you just smell like fish. Yep. Yep. Even like you're using gloves, you're like washing your hands obviously, but it's just like you can't get rid of it. And it's just in your nose. In your nostrils. You cannot get rid of it. Drew, my husband worked at the fish counter at the grocery market. And I don't know why I just said [08:59] All of the above. The grocery market everywhere. The local grocery market. But he had a pair of shoes that I would not allow into my bedroom. I was like, get those. It got to the shoe. There's like scales on them. No, they were one with the ocean. It was horrible. I should have chucked them back in the ocean. Oh my god. They were so gross. That is crazy. I had shoes as well that had to stay outside. Yep. I remember that. Outside shoes, yeah. Yeah. Tom was like, take them off. I'm going to give you this next question too because it's just like for you to ask. Oh yeah. So, again, [09:29] in the morgue. [09:30] I was, like, shocked to see that we used, like, things from, like, Lowe's or Home Depot at times. Gnarly. Because they just worked better. So we used, like, literal hedge clippers with, like, the orange handles as rib cutters. You have to be strong to do that. You have to be real strong. Pump those guns, Elena. Especially the clavicle. She still has them. But the clavicle especially, that's a two-cut one. But you have to get a good leverage.

[10:00] give you good leverage because they have the big... [10:02] The big candles. So I was shocked by that. But what is something in a kitchen that... [10:08] That we would kind of be shocked to see what it is used for as well. Oh, my God. You're already giggling, and I'm so excited. Something normal or something. You're going to just barf. Oh, my God, no. Okay, well, I'm only divulging my husband's secret because I think, like, this is one of his, like, little party trick things he brings up all the time. I love this. Is that he has gross feet. Okay. So, poor Ryan has gross feet, but you know what? He embraces it, and he, like, you know, he laughs about it. Okay, yeah. [10:38] Thank you. [10:38] Grading his feet. You know what a microplane is? The zester you use? Yeah. [10:42] Grating his feet. Like at the nail salon. Like at the nail salon. It's a literal cheese grater microplane zester. And you said that's mine doll. You said that's not what that's for. We can't clean them. But it is what it's for. It literally is. It's for both. It's for both. But you shouldn't use them for both. You don't want to have that. It's for both, but you can't use it for both. You can have one for that and one for the kitchen. You said, hey babe, so that's yours now. So that's not the kind of Parmesan cheese we need. Sorry. Oh, that's too far. [11:12] I thought it was at Morbid. Cutting ribs with hedge cutters. So that one, yeah. I do believe that the microplane was originally made for woodworking, though. Oh, that makes sense. So it was used to finish edges of cabinets and stuff to get a fun... Shit, that's like a multi-use tool. Feet, cheese. Feet, cheese. Double cheese. Wow. Foot cheese, regular cheese. I like that. Okay, moving on from foot cheese. How very is it? Okay, moving on from foot cheese, maybe. Maybe.

[11:42] come back. We love a full circle. Yeah, it is autopsies. And we're getting there. So Scarpetta's work obviously involves studying what somebody ate before they died. [11:52] As a chef, would it make you kind of nervous that your cooking could end up being in an autopsy report? So I think what makes me nervous about that is that somebody would, like, see it and be like, oh, that was not cooked properly. Like, they judged the way that I could. Like, can you imagine if there was, like, Yelp reviews that, like, stomach contents were not prepared by professional chefs. Bad chef. Bad chef. Zero stars. Zero stars for whoever cooked that. [12:22] that would be in an autopsy report later that you'd be like that's mine like you think it would age well that was me what feels that's like that's like getting asked like what your favorite thing to cook is which is every chef's worst nightmare question but i will say i love cooking mexican food and there's a sauce called mole in like oaxacan food yes oaxacan is my like all-time favorite type of mexican um but yeah if i could like nail a mole and somebody open up and they're [12:52] They're going to be jealous of their last meal. It was crazy. They're like, does anyone have chips? Yeah. They're like, he does want to get takeout food. Oh, my gosh. [13:00] i love that a lot that's a good one that is a good that's like one of my pride and joys i'd make a good mole and it's a hard thing i was gonna say that's not easy to make labor intensive lots of ingredients lots of balancing going on so hell yeah yeah yeah next time you come back you gotta i know i know you've answered three food questions and i'm like i came i came empty-handed except for bookie up there but it's not food not empty-handed i won't eat him i promise od did try to bite i only have like two of those and od tried to bite one of their legs off

[13:30] not my husband. I used to have a dog named Odie too. You did? You had a family dog Odie. And he was like half wolf. He was like an insane dog. Oh, Odie is half like baked potato. He's like, he's a pit bull, but his legs are like three inches long. So he's like really stumpy and low to the ground. Yeah. He has little like flipper paws. I love him. He's real cute. Oh my God. I would lay down my life for him. I know. I literally, yeah. Is he like half wiener dog too? We think he is like dachshund or like hound of some sort. Yeah. Cause he has like the little, [13:57] Flipped out front feet. Stop it. I know. I love dogs. But the pity face. A little potato. A little potato. I love it. I'm obsessed. We don't deserve dogs. I know. We really don't. Not at all. So, on to the next question. Because I'll just talk about dogs for four minutes. 100%. If you could cook a meal inspired by the book Postmortem. [14:17] What would be on the menu? Okay. There were, there's so many ways that this one could go, but I, I do a thing for my clients. Pancake Friday. We have pancakes. I literally love that you're going here. We just had pancakes. Did you? Yeah. They're a perfect food. [14:32] The maple syrup of it all. [14:34] oh nailed it so i was so hoping that's where you were yeah so a fat stack of pancakes some maple whipped butter and some maple glazed bacon because what was that what is the disease called like maple syrup urine disease yes yep the maple syrup came up so frequently i was like what is that like the is a maple tree the killer like what is going on here i came in here the other day and i go maple syrup i was like that is i literally googled because i was like that is made up

[15:04] Yeah, I've never heard of that before. That's a perfect meal for this. As soon as you started, I was like, I love, I'm obsessed with that. [15:12] You've got to go with the maple syrup. All right. Next question. So both chefs and forensic pathologists obviously work with knives and anatomy. Very different ways, but they both work in that area. What is the closest moment you've had in the kitchen that felt like a science experiment? Either gone wrong or right. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Okay. So bread baking is like such a science experiment for me. And I've had it go perfectly where like you get the crustiest, most beautiful sourdough bread ever. You do the little crunch. [15:42] but then i've also had it go completely the opposite direction where it's like literally a goopy blobby mess yep and that's like it's literally science and you're just in my head i don't understand how it works elena's so horrified by sourdough starters i am she's like afraid of my sourdough like it's gonna come to life in the back of your fridge like feed me like i made this with my sourdough i'm like but you fed it it's a living thing i do think it's [16:12] yeast. And I think that's the problem I have with it, is the personification of sourdough sharder. I am part of the problem. Sourdough sharder? Shut up. Why are we in such a place of shards lately? You guys are sharding left and right. Why are we doing this? Why are we in a place of shards? It's very easy to say shard. I don't know. Say it again, one more time. Shard.

[16:36] Say crack again. That's apparently how I feel about sourdough sharders. [16:42] I'm blushing, guys. Wait, is yours named or no? I haven't named mine. Oh, so you're not part of the problem. No. Mine's name is Matilda. You're part of the answer. Matilda. Yeah, she's a bad bitch. I like it. It's that thing. You'll talk about feeding Matilda, and then you're like, I made this with Matilda, and I'm like, you know what? I've been, like, low-key starving Matilda. Okay, well, can I just throw it out there that people are also so scared you have to, like... [17:00] feed it every week and be on this for some... I've left mine in the fridge for months. Oh, mine's been in the fridge for many, many months. In fact, I have one on the counter right now that looks fine to me and I haven't fed it in like a week. Probably not going to use it. But I think they're more forgiving than people think they are. I agree with that. I think so. They're terrifying. I don't know why. You don't like... I wonder if you have that phobia of the bubbles. Oh, trypophobia? No, that's the holes. Is that the same? I don't really... I'm not worried about the [17:30] I don't like that it feels alive. I think it's the way that it feels alive. And then you're like, eat this bread that I made from that. I think that's where my... You do like the bread. [17:40] I love the bread. Thank you. That's the problem. Sourdough bread would be on my final death row meal. Oh, yeah. Just hot sourdough bread with butter and salt. I'm very conflicted on the whole thing. It's, yeah. It's okay to feel conflicted about these things. Thank you. I appreciate that. Your validations are valid here. Thank you. And it shows how kind you are that you care about Matilda. It's true. This is a safe space. It's true. I care about Matilda. I'm telling you, the spirits cry. I'm like, why don't you stop? I'm really upset. [18:03] Oh, so what ingredient would absolutely give you away if you tried to commit a culinary crime? Like, what is your fingerprint in ingredient form? That's a clever question. I like this a lot. Thank you.

[18:18] lemon zest i think i put i with my kitchen microplane um seriously like lemon zest or citrus zest in general is just like such a great way to like [18:33] give a ton of aromatic like bursa flavor like also if you don't want to like that really acidic juice sometimes it's just like a nice little bright finish i am a freak like it became a joke on set when we were doing the photos for the book julian the gal that was the food stylist with me she'd be like lemon zest on this all of it and it looks pretty it's pretty it like adds a little [19:03] It's cheese. They're just like, that's her. I think garlic would be mine. Oh, yeah. I put garlic in everything. Yeah. Yeah. And I love extra garlic. Oh, hell yeah. If it says like two cloves of garlic, I'm like 17? No. Okay. I always just say like garlic measure with your heart. That's literally. Yeah. That and vanilla extract. Yep. A hundred percent. Measure with your heart. Oh, whenever I bake, I do double the vanilla and double the salt. Yep. Oh, double the salt. Double the salt. All right. Like cookies, chocolate chip cookies. I don't have crap toad of salt. I love adding salt. I always chop them with a vanilla. Yeah. Oh, you gotta. The best. Yep. Oh, that's good to know. I like that. I love that. [19:33] Oh, yeah. [19:34] Well, I guess now we can get into the book. Yeah, let's get into the book. Talked about that. So what did we think of the book? 90s, incredible, strong women. I walked away with it being like women empowering other women. Hell yeah. Coming together to be badasses. Yes. Like that was how it closed for me and I loved that. Because I love that it ended with Kay, Abby, and Lucy. Yes. Like all coming together. Yes. And how much Lucy ended up helping Kay throughout the whole book. Yes. That little girl. I have to confess at one point.

[20:00] One thing I loved about the book, too, is it took me on so many journeys of who I thought... [20:05] yeah did it yep and at one point i was blaming little lucy i was like the 10 year old girl is definitely not the killer but in my head i was like she might have done i bet she broke into the yes for sure and i was like i don't know why but i think she did yeah but it was so clever the way she would like weave everybody's story and then i was like oh i'm sure it's this person and then no and now i'm sure it's this person so good at that yes like so good at that there was so many times especially like the further along we got into it that i thought it was bill i really really thought [20:35] He fleed. Yeah. I was like, Bill sucks ass. I was pissed. I didn't feel like, I didn't feel like he got his enough. I, agreed. You know what I mean? Agreed. Like, I want, I want somebody to pummel him. Yeah. I think Abby's going to take care of him. Abby's going to pummel him. I think she's going to expose him. Him and, uh, is it Amber Guy? I think so, yeah. Yeah. I want her to pummel them. Yeah, the worst. Just men being horrible. I also thought that it was Wingo at a certain point. Did you ever think that? Yes. But then, you came in the other day and you were like, nobody was safe. Nobody was safe in my brain. No, [21:05] lucy no you're like that bitch is crazy she was just strangling people like damn strong tenure strong 10-year-old she's leaving semen i was just gonna say she's just leaving seminal fluid that's why she broke into the morgue she's about got her hands on non-secreter semen she's like what's this shit i guess i'll throw it

[21:35] I can't solve it. Oh my god. Oh my god. You guys make me blush a lot. [21:43] Little girls love pancakes. You never know. So the maple syrup also, the maple syrup smells. And there's always sticky. They are always sticky. Yeah. And smelly. Can confirm. Jammy hands. Jammy hands. Yeah, jam hands. So I got to see. You're valid for that. You know what? I still, my thing is. You're like, actually, good. I'm going to rewrite. Actually, book two's going to come back and be like, kidding. It was Lucy. Oh my god. [22:05] I love it. But I do love, too, that they made Marino like like such a foil in the beginning. And then at the end, he ends up like standing up for her and like saving her ass. Yeah. And then saving her. Thank God, because there had to be one good like straight man to come through and like do something to like restore our faith a little bit. And it was like questionable for most people because he's sitting there being like goddamn women when he walks away. And you're like, Marino. Yeah. Marino's like a. [22:31] He's a mainstay. I really like him. Oh, interesting. So this is my first book that I've read in the series. I'm definitely going to read more, but I'm interested to see which characters come back. Yeah, me too. It's really fun. And you said Lucy is a mainstay. Lucy becomes a very big character. Oh. Lucy's pretty badass. Okay, fun. She's fun. I feel like she's going to grow up to be a computer hacker. Yes. But one of the good ones. She just works for an anonymous. Yeah, there you go. I love that. I love that theory. [23:01] Throughout the book, it's like... [23:03] there's i think there's a lot of like k being like science and logic and like we need to look at this like this and marino's the one that's like i'm going off of instinct and i think it's this like i have street smart so let's go this way went to school hard knocks yeah he's like i know this but he was wrong for most of the book with his instincts and she was right and then in the end it flipped and his instincts had him show up to save her yep so i like that they gave them both totally flowers that way it was almost like confirming like you need both sides yeah you

[23:33] other it's so true and just the way their relationship developed because like i think when she first found out that he was driving by her house she thought it was because he wanted to be like oh how does how much does the chief medical examiner make and like he wanted to judge her yep but he actually just had this instinct to protect her yeah i love them together i know you told me that i was gonna love marino so i was like as i was freaking through i was like all right not yet not yet if you would have told me that at the beginning i would not have i would not have [24:03] now I'm like I love Marino oh yeah yeah love him I had so many theories about who the killer was throughout this like we were just talking we thought it was like Wingo yeah we thought it was I mean I thought it was the husband at first there was a little bit where I was like fuck is it Marina yeah yeah you just don't know and then when it comes I like that it came through with like there was like a layered reveal [24:26] But I never saw it coming. I didn't see it coming at all. I didn't come up with that until it was announced. I was like, oh, shit. That makes so much sense. At first, I was a little disappointed that it wasn't somebody that I'd grown a deep relationship with. But I do think it kind of, in the end, lets us... [24:44] walk away with like our own ideas of who those people are and how they evolved by putting it [24:49] by making it be like a rando yeah spoiler alert before this so like you need to read it first yeah i also like because i felt the same way i was like oh why is it just like a random person but then the more i thought about it i was like that's kind of how life works like it's not always who you suspect is the killer yeah and it's true you know like regular everyday people that you think are just going about their jobs or like how dramatic everything was it was like a very real

[25:19] Thank you. [25:20] Yeah. Like, it was just kind of like... [25:21] He's just he's just so hates women just smells like we're like, yeah, he just smells like maple syrup and hates women. Yeah. Yeah. And like and liked listening to them in distress. So like he would hear them in distress and be like, well, I would like to cause more of that. Like it shivered on my spine. I hate that. I thought it was a super like. [25:40] creative and like it was like a unique like kind of yeah like have you ever heard of that with the serial killer before like listening to that they listen to them in distress and that's how they found that we've ever come across that so i think that was like yeah not yet that was a real creative patricia it was honestly yeah patty you slayed with that one you really did a big slay well i [26:10] isolated big time because she's surrounded by men and she's kind of like male dominated field she like feels like she's losing it and everybody's like you look so tired you look like i know like literally you can see her like devolving yeah it's like sleepy shell of a person yeah which like because she's working so hard and then also doing work in something that is like so [26:26] traumatizing. How could you not? The worst of humanity. And I think she looked at that first victim that we saw and I think she saw herself in Lori because Lori was like a young female doctor. Well, and they had met that one time and she kind of like kept that to herself for a while and then was like when she talked to the psychiatrist or psychologist when she let that go, I was like, [26:47] oh yeah that's why that's affecting you so yeah and another one where i was like okay who's on school campus that like would have seen them together that could have picked them out and that's why it's so fun to yes together it really is i also like the way that patricia does it where you get so much of her work life but you also get her home life so you can see why she's so fucking stressed out yes because in the middle of everything that she's dealing with like trying to solve this insane murder she's also taking care of a 10 year old yeah and her sister's just like

[27:17] She was my illustrator to Miami. Yeah. So now she has to be a mom. Yeah. I hate Dorothy. Yeah. She's the worst. Dorothy is such a... [27:27] interesting character that's being nice throughout the series well another sticks around jimmy lee curtis plays dorothy yeah in the iconic when you see her in the in like the the trailers the previews yes i mean i can see it yeah it was so not what i pictured but now i can't picture anything else like i'm like what did i picture you'll because you're picturing her like younger yeah [27:57] kept seeing her when I was reading as like a mix of Dana Scully and Carmela from... Carmela Soprano. Oh, I like that. With her big French tip. Hell yeah. Because she's definitely got Dana Scully vibes. She definitely has Dana Scully vibes that kind of like reserved, like cool, like very... [28:15] like methodical. - Yeah. [28:17] But then I wanted her to be like kind of the Italian like. Yeah. Carmella cooking up the Sunday brief. Exactly. And what's cool is as the series goes, you get a lot of Kay's like personal life and her life outside of the morgue. I'm excited for that. And she's like. [28:31] cook. She loves to cook. She loves to garden. She's got all these passions outside of it that they develop. Yeah, they dropped the gardening one towards the end. She's very well-rounded in the rest of the series. You get so many looks [28:45] Like her...

[28:47] life i really like it yeah that is really cool because you would need that [28:51] If you're the chief medical examiner, you need like outlets. Yes. Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine. You need to put your head somewhere. Yeah. And I related to that so much because even like when we do like. [29:02] these like very violent stories. I love going home and cooking. And I like, yes, I have stuff going on in my personal life. Like cooking is an outlet for me, for sure. It's such a good way to just like, [29:11] decompress you like put your phone down be in touch with your senses and like take your time if you can yeah and like and create something create that's just like with your hands yeah chopping all the ingredients like i don't it does something for my nervous system yeah yeah i feel like when i first started doing cooking videos i was very into like the asmr chop style like lean into those like heavy sauteing sounds and onion chopping like i loved that i love the second i i [29:38] immediately mouthwash yes that was one thing in the book that i was like can't relate i forget which victim it was but she opened her windows because she had cooked uh the ground ground beef and onions i was like that probably smells fucking incredible bottles like i'm like literally i'm like i love that smell if i'm like cooking that and i go outside for some reason and come back i'm like oh the house is good right now i'll never open the windows and get rid of that yeah it's true and speaking of windows ash texted the other night while she was finishing this she texted [30:08] And she was like, I am freaking out, closing all my windows and making sure they are double, triple checked. Like, you're genuinely scared. No, you guys, I sat down, I think it was like last Saturday or something, and I read almost the entire book in one sitting. Because I just, I was like eating this up. Yeah. And it was like 10 o'clock by the time I finished. Oh my god. I went around my entire house. I locked all the windows. There was one that wasn't locking. I ran upstairs. I was like, Drew, the downstairs dining room window is not locking. Why? And he was like, what? You're like, we're in danger.

[30:38] i'm like can you please get up and go fix the window and he did and it locks so don't even try it whoever you are don't even try it so yeah i grew up in a town where like literally my dad would keep the keys to his car on his dashboard we did not own a key to our front door so i had to be like very retrained like ryan my husband's dad is like was a cop and so ryan's like the opposite end of that spectrum where he's like we're home and all the doors are locked and i'm [31:08] to me. But between Ryan and listening to you guys, I feel like I've become much more [31:13] Much more cautious. Fresh air is for dead people, after all. I do love fresh air, though. I do love fresh air. But you go outside for a walk. Just a walk. Yeah. And I love to burp the house during the day. We burp the house. We just learned about this. It's a thing. It's like a, is it a German thing or a Dutch thing? I think it's Dutch. It's wonderful. What is it called? Hold on. I said, I was like, we need to do this to the house. I love burping the house. In Phoenix, we have to like turn on our heat during the summer sometimes because it sits. [31:41] Oh my god. It sits idle for so long that you have to burp the heater, basically. So once a month, you have to turn the heat up a little bit on your already hot home. It's terrible. That sounds awful. I couldn't do it. Hot. Hot. Yeah, you were saying it gets up to like 120 degrees. I mean, I'm in the Hamptons when that happens. Smart. Smart. Get out of there. Poor husband. We can't have you on fire like that. No, we can't. I would literally melt. Yeah, burping the house is German. It's called, I think it's Lufthin. Lufthin. We Lufthin the house. Yeah, I love Lufthin the house.

[32:11] it even when i left you yesterday you were by yourself and i was like lock the door yeah she was very aggressive about it actually when she was like close the door and lock it behind me and i was like i will i don't know i'm very do that i left my friend's house last night and her house was so hot we were like both sweating and she's like yeah i'm gonna sleep with the window open i was like no you're not babe no no yeah i always wish we could do that no i know i always want to do that because like fresh air coming in feels nice but i never would [32:36] I never wanted that. I never would. Are we at a point with science where we can figure this out? I know. Let me have a window open. You know what? We just need to put bars on our windows. That's all. Perfect. Let's live in a penitentiary. Then you can open it and no one can get in. Oh, my God. Penitentiary vibes. But you know what? Make the bars pretty. You can make the bars, like, translucent. Oh, okay. Make them pretty. A decoration. I'm on board now. But reinforced so that nobody's getting in those bitches. Wait. How did you feel? I forget. [33:04] I don't remember like what scene this was or anything, but I just remember she said she. I don't remember anything. I don't remember any part of this. Single thing. I actually don't know what I'm saying. No, she said that she really hated Spanish moss. [33:15] Kay Scarpetta. Oh. And I said, do you feel personally victimized for that? Because I love Spanish Mosh. It's Mosh.

[33:23] It's like Shart. I like... [33:25] spanish shark it's easy to say i love a spanish moss moment it's so like ethereal and like yeah and it feels so like gothic like it feels so southern gothic like yeah i i requested from john i was like can we please just like truck up some spanish moss i don't think it survives here he was like it will not i don't think that's how plants work also i'm pretty sure it has tons of bugs in it oh yeah yeah it's like invasive i think yeah once you get to the nitty-gritty of [33:55] It is invasive. Mikey gave me the nod. But like, my plans had it coming. Also, you know what that's called? Boss bitch energy. She knows she's the one. She said me. It me. Primary. I'm that girl. That's right. Oh, I love a Spanish monster. Beautiful. The Abby Turnbull of it all. Okay. With Bill. [34:14] Yeah, like Bill being a full-on rapist. He's just a rapist. Drug-turning rape. And then he's claiming that she came on to him and he rejected her. I was like, you piece of shit. Classic maneuver. Yeah, totally. What pissed me off, too, was he was like, okay, I think now that I've run away, we probably shouldn't see each other. Fuck you! Should we want to see you off anyway? Does he come back? No. Oh. I don't think he's... But yeah, I don't think we got the justice that we deserve with him. Yeah, he doesn't become like a thing. So did he just get away with rape, then? Yeah. [34:39] I don't know, actually. I don't remember. In my head, he gets... I've just started a series. Oh, good. Yeah. Oh, good. You're like, hell yeah. You were saying in my head, I thought you were saying he gets away with it. And I was like, no. No. You're like, wait. Wrong vibe. I know, I know. You're like, no way. Like, why would I say that? I also liked it. So when Marina was kind of like pressing her about it, like, because when she was like, we were kind of seeing each other. And he was like, has he...

[35:06] like attacked you like has that happened was like pressing and she was like actually kind of like what the fuck like why you asked me and he apologized later [35:15] which was like a big Marino moment. I was like, look at you apologizing. He grew a lot. I mean, the bar is in hell, obviously. It's the 90s and he's a man. He's a man. Don't do that. Literally. Because I'm just like, look at him saying sorry. I know. For pressing the rape question. Like, damn. Yeah. But I was like, that's pretty good for Marino in 1990. One thing I wish we got a little bit more on was Bill's wife's possible suicide. [35:45] She committed suicide. Yes. That's why I don't want to say that he doesn't show up again because I'm not positive on that. I haven't read the beginning of the series in a long time. Okay. I mean, you were 10 when you read this. I was young when I read it. Fair that you forgot some stuff along the way. Yeah. When I first heard that she had committed suicide, air quotes. Yeah. I was like that immediately. I was like, red flag. Bill's like no good. Like I'm scared for Kay. And it was only like a year before. Yeah. And Kay was like weird about it. She was like, yeah, I don't. [36:15] Had conflicting feelings. Yeah. Because she was like, that's not a lot of time. Like, what's going on? And then they were saying, like, well, like, she could have because she had, like, gunpowder residue on her hand, but I'm like... [36:24] He's a cop. He's a cop. You would know exactly how to cover everything up. Exactly. I thought that we didn't talk about the dust. Oh, the glitter dust. The glitter dust. You want to know what? I thought it was, like, for the whole book, basically. What? I thought it was going to come out that it was, like...

[36:37] leftover fingerprint dusting powder so i was like it's an inside job i was like it's a cop who has like fingerprint powder on them and they don't know you weren't far off i mean yeah you really weren't like in the like yeah the law enforcement part of it true because i that i loved because it was so the whole time i was like what the fuck is this glittery shit yes yeah and as soon as that popped up yeah and as soon as they were like oh municipal buildings use borax in the bathroom so [37:07] happening i was really fascinating yeah and i also loved the um when they went to visit the crime scenes marino and k and they went into like the psychology a lot more that was a really interesting scene that was also just like so cinematic to me i could see that in my head the entire time i can't wait to see that yeah it just in the show yeah to me it felt like so like hot and sweaty and like like so you felt nerve-wracking yeah claustrophobic yes like and his nasty ass car [37:37] like McDonald's wrappers all over it. I love this car. I'm pretty sure like perseveres. [37:42] I think that's like part of his like mythology. Ask somebody who's had nasty ass cars. I get it. Do you guys want to know something I splurge on? I drive so much. I drive so much because I work like split shifts and I... [37:56] Um, now I splurge on having somebody come to wash my car once a month. Oh, hell yeah. Honestly, valid. [38:03] freaking game changer. I probably would do that. My husband details my car like,

[38:07] incredibly but if i didn't have him i would absolutely yeah is he looking for another husband no ryan did set all this up for me so i'm very like but yeah it's having a clean car is yes [38:19] It's like a second house. It starts your day off better. You just get in there and you're like, ah. You don't want to sit in a nasty ass car. I drink my coffee while I'm in. Yeah, exactly. I used to have the nastiest cars. This literally came up at my wedding. Why can I see this perfectly? No, this bitch over here. This maid of honor, this matron of honor in that moment, I've just spit everywhere, brought up, I once left fish tacos in my car. [38:49] It was Chicken Marsala. What? [38:54] Chicken Carsala? What? What? Chicken Carsala. Chicken Carsala forever. [39:02] And it is forever. If anybody's driving a white Saturn around, you're driving my Chicken Carsala. [39:09] Enjoy. They don't even make that car anymore. I loved her. Her name was Stacy. That is like such a niche thing. Kay Scarpet would appreciate that. Yeah. [39:19] spell. I put that card on top. That one's wet. And it's like such, it was impossible to get. It's an earthy smell. Yeah, it sure was guys. Yeah. I drove that card into the ground though. [39:31] Yeah, that might have been similar to what Dead Body Smells is. To be honest, it's that sickly sweet sauce. Oh my gosh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's how I was living when I was like 20-something. That's why Felicia didn't like me. We've all been through that. You know, that's what it was. Yeah.

[39:56] Let's take a break to thank the sponsor of today's episode, Ashley. [40:00] Your home should show off who you are. Ashley has styles that balance timeless appeal and modern trends to bring your personal look home. [40:07] Ashley is dependable with a modern feel, offering well-crafted, affordable pieces built to stand up to real life and with great looks that are made to last. I am so freaking excited. My furniture from Ashley is getting delivered soon. I got the Revion Lakes loveseat and sofa. It's in this rich, olive-hued polyester velvet fabric that is just gorgeous. It looks super sophisticated. It just has, like, this soft, plush comfort kind of look to it, but, like, super elevated. Yeah. [40:35] I also got the core stone end tables, which I love, love, love. They look very antiquey, but like updated, sophisticated. They're very elegant. And the wood just looks so nice next to the color of the olive. It's gorgeous. And then finally, I got the Meili coffee table. It's this rich oak with ash swirl veneers, ornate leg detailing. The legs are gorgeous. Wait until you see this space. You guys are actually going to be able to see this because we're going to do some of [41:05] so jealous of my furniture that you're going to want to go to Ashley and get some furniture for yourself. And guess what? Ashley provides fast, reliable white glove delivery right to your room of choice. Visit your local Ashley store or head to ashley.com to find your style.

[41:24] Just going back to like the crime scene visits. You're like going back to something that was a nasty car. I was like, I gotta get away from the chicken car sala. Get set away from your nasty ass. I think you also left sushi on my shelf once. Oh my goodness. Do we need to have a talk about food safety with you? [41:44] That was so embarrassing. She's like, why am I getting sick from this grocery store of sushi? [41:50] I left on the counter for eight hours. No, I didn't eat it. I was eating it. And I put it in a bookshelf next to me. Right, because that's where sushi goes. It didn't tell us. So one day, John's just like, what the fuck is that? Okay, not one day, it was the next day. And he was like, what is this? We found that neither of us eat sushi. So we were just like, what? And John was like, this is Ash. This is Ash's sushi. Okay, but that weekend was the weekend that I helped you when your kid threw up in the car. So I got you back. [42:20] hands. This was a different barfarama. Yeah, barfarama, babe. Kids puke. Yeah. Oh my God. I was a big puker. I'm running all my nastiness. It's like when we started the show and I would say I'm trash. Yeah. I can't touch everybody. Trash without asking. You sure can't. You sure can't. That's why we love you. But again, back to the nastiest car. [42:42] Marinos. Yeah. And back to the crime scenes. [42:45] I liked that they were going into the psychology because I think the behavioral science unit was only established in like... [42:51] 85 that makes sense really not that far off because isn't it's like brand new and like silence of the lambs yeah it's a brand new so that when she was writing this

[43:01] It had probably only been around for a couple of years. And she was probably like, hell yeah. Her brain was special then. And then the way she was talking about the DNA too. It was like, whoa, deep dive. Did a lot of it go over my head? Absolutely. I was like, damn. Those were ones that I had to go over. I'm impressed. They were fascinating though. Yeah. But it also is just like crazy to think that. And we've covered cases before where people are like, DNA, what the fuck is that? When it was like the 80s. Like what? What does that prove? Get out of here. [43:31] that that's just how we solve shit now. But back in the day, you couldn't even really explain that to people. Yeah. And cell phones, baby. Oh, my God. It's like in Scream. I knew you were going to say that. Every time I think of it, like the original Scream. Okay, okay. [43:44] When that cell phone drops, I remember watching it and being like... [43:48] he has a fucking cell phone like killer excuse me only killers have cell phones like what the fuck and it's like a giant brick that falls out of his back that's what i was like that is like the heyday of horror movies because it's like when a cell phone was like the smoking gun like only one person has a cell phone in this whole movie it's gotta be him yeah my husband doesn't do horror movies but [44:13] Well, now he does, and I intro'd him with Scream, because I was like, that's how you get introduced. And that was one of the first gnarly movies that I watched, and I think I was 10. And my brother... I think I was 10, too. I think I was 11. Yeah. My brother made me watch it, and then scared me for the next month, whenever he possibly could. So it was scarring, but also...

[44:33] My intro into Loving Horrors. Builds character. Yeah, builds character. My husband was not a big horror head before he met me. That's not going to last. No. I started him with The Strangers, which might have been... You are evil... Damn. I... [44:47] that's it's like one of my favorite horror movies ever you have to watch this and to this day if i go is tamra he's like shut the fuck up it terrifies him the scene where she's home alone and the vinyl starts playing yes oh my god is one of the creepiest and it's mama tried [45:04] That song? Yes. Oh, try. I also heard that the director didn't tell her where they were going to be coming from, so she was actually, like, said she was terrified. Freakness. So smart. Yeah. I was watching the Rachel Zoe project the other day, and Liv Tyler was being styled, and I was like, oh my god, she lives! [45:20] She made it through! But I was like, oh, that's a movie. Oh, she's Liv Tyler. Yeah. She's livin'. That movie is iconic. It's one of my favorite movies. Yeah. My favorite. Well, Silence of the Limbs is my favorite. Me too. Yeah. [45:33] That's my comfort movie. Me too. Like I put it on when I can't sleep. I will literally put it on just to like feel good. That's how I feel. Which is great. Insane. It's so insane. I tell people that and they like step back for me. I'm like what? They're like that's weird. What's wrong? Meanwhile half that movie is them staring straight into the camera. I know. And I'm like I love this. Yeah. I feel teen. I haven't watched that forever. You're talking to me. It's so good. Jodie's talking to me. It is so good. That's been coming up in conversations so much lately randomly. I feel like I'm being like called to watch that again. It's true. Yeah.

[46:03] at the same time as Jodie Foster last time. We were. She was on the Today Show. And I wanted to find her, and I thought we would be beacons with each other and just call to each other. And we did it. I know. It was so sad. It was maybe something was retrograde. Yeah, something was wrong. Because normally me and Jodie would. You're beacons, for sure. I respect that. It wasn't a good trip. It's true. We almost named Blanche Clarice. [46:26] But John would let me. [46:28] He was like, no. No. Can't hear the dog Clarice. Why? You could have said, hello, Clarice. Every time she walked into a room, I was going to say, hello, Clarice. And the other one is Sydney, and you could say, hello, Sydney. And I do do that a lot. Wow. That's actually such a missed opportunity. Right? Yeah. Right? Missed opportunity. You're like, now I'm going to fist fight him when I go upstairs and hit him. Put him up. Put him up. [46:50] Oh, man. I love it. Ryan's car was named Clarice, but he... [46:53] hadn't seen the movie and i was like funny you just named your forward focus mine's vivian oh i love that she's kind of a baddie i like mine's big inch the sequel [47:09] I had a Big Ange. Which makes so much sense. And then I wasn't ready to give it up yet, so I was like, my next car's Big Ange 2. Is it a big car? No.

[47:20] No, I just love Big Ange. And I love this sequel. I mean, she is a legend. And then you can get a third one in Big Ange the remake. Absolutely. The trifecta. That's right. Big Ange 5 ever. Our big car is named Daisy Buchanan. That's cute. I like that a lot. [47:39] had it going on. She's not working on it. I love your brain so much. Thank you. So much. Her brain is pretty great. It's awesome. Both of your brains are insane and I love them so much. It's a unique space over there. So is yours. Yours is a lot scarier. Mine's just like, and yours is like, you know? I do. That actually, yeah, that was perfect. [48:09] I feel like we got through most of the book discussion. I mean, I feel like we could talk about it forever. I know. I think we got the big. One thing I have to say is that Ash was completely like you were like, Wingo did it. And then I know you came in and you were like, fuck. Yeah. Wingo actually did his big one and tested that cigarette. I really felt so bad. Yeah. As soon as he put something into. What was the Betty? It was Betty. Yeah. Rockabilly Betty. When he put something in her pocket, I like didn't trust her. I didn't trust Wingo. [48:39] I was like, they're in it. Again, that's her playing... She's such a good writer, because that's the game. As soon as you think you... [48:45] are on to someone, it's like, boom. You'll suspect anyone. I also love that she surrounded Kay with a lot of women. Like Betty the serologist, there's Margaret the computer analyst. So there's more. Women running that shit. And I think Abby is like her.

[49:01] I'm pretty sure. Yeah, you were saying that this morning. She started out as an investigative crime reporter. Oh, cool. And I think, I don't think she said that that's her, but it feels like her. Yeah. You know? And I love, and she's like, come on vacation with us. We're going, I'm like, are you guys going to be lovers now? You're like, I love you guys. The, like, enemy to lover pipeline. She's like, I'm going to bring you forced proximity on vacation. [49:23] She's like, me and Lucy were hitting the beach. Go to Miami. Lucy, you want to do auntie? My murder, her niece, Lucy. [49:31] She's got a bottle of non-secreter on her. Sorry if she smells like maple syrup. [49:41] Not Lucy Catching Strange. [49:45] All right, so whenever we have a guest on, we sort of end with Would You Rather, but we have Would You Rather for you and a bonus game. Ooh, bonus game? Yes. So we'll do Would You Rather first. Okay. Do you want to start the Would You Rather and we can just go back and forth? Yeah, let's go. All right, start it off, girl. All right, Would You Rather spend a day learning real forensic pathology from Case Carpetta? [50:06] or spend a day inside the FBI behavioral analysis unit with Benton Wesley. Oof. I feel like Benton Wesley is hot. I don't know why. Oh. A hot behavioral analysis? I think he kind of is in the show. Is he? Yeah. Just if that influences you. It does. Like, deeply, deeply influences. All right. I'm pretty sure he's, like, the hot guy in Devil Wears Prada. Benton. He's at your period. Got it. I'm going to the end. Oh, yeah. I'm definitely staying with Kay. Like, she's a legend. I want to date with Kay. All right. Stay with Kay. Me too.

[50:36] rolling out. I'm hanging out with Kay. Yeah. Even though... [50:42] I just want to hang with her. Yeah. Really. I'm like, let's do an autopsy together. [50:46] I also miss doing autopsies. I don't want to do an autopsy, but I do really like forensic science. I find it super interesting. And Ben's hot. Yeah, he is. All right. How about would you rather assist Garpetta with an autopsy or ride along with Marino for a suspect chase at 3 a.m.? [51:08] Not in his dirty-ass car. No, thank you. 3 a.m. I would be... I would be... [51:13] Chicken barf-soling all over the car. Chicken barf-soling. Chicken barf-soling. Definitely autopsy. And I've never done an autopsy. And when I was in, like, eighth grade, I did a whole science report on... [51:24] autopsies really i love that you were like destined to be here i know literally you were like my grandpa was a pathologist also hell yeah you left that out i know sorry what a badass that's so cool everyone on my mom's side my mom's a pa and like everyone on that side of the family is all very sciencey and medically really cool that's so cool yeah [51:45] Rad. My mom brought home, she worked for an eye surgery center and she brought home pig eyes that they'd used to like test a laser. My brother and I got in a pig eye fight. We were kids. Stop. The greatest thing I've ever heard. I'm not joking. That might be my favorite thing about you. God bless Gail. [51:58] for bringing her grubby ass children home a styrofoam box of pig eyes because she knew we would have so much fun with them oh yeah that's a good mom right there yeah that's she's like you know what she looked at that styrofoam box and she said i know who would love this need another life your your video that you did when you showed your parents your cookbook i actually cried no i i will cry right now just thinking your dad's laugh is everything to me i have shown everyone in this

[52:28] work like it was so special they had no idea that's so her too like honestly riley she always says that i'm like gail charlie oh and then when they're reading and they're like this is so you like i was like oh they get you okay okay okay next question all right so would you rather [52:58] Or one chaotic dinner rush in a Michelin star kitchen. [53:02] Oh my gosh, that's a tough one. Didn't you work in a Michelin star? I did. I do miss that rush a little bit. [53:10] And Overnight in a Morgue sounds spooky. A little too spooky for me. It is spooky. So... [53:15] as long as the chef isn't like a total asshole, then I'm doing the, the night of the Michelin star restaurant. All right. I miss like when you're like cooking that way on a line and like high pace, like frantic energy, but it's like controlled chaos. It's, [53:26] It's really fun when it gels. And when you get to the end of it, you're like, I did that? Yeah, it's very gratifying. I know, that must feel really gratifying at the end of that. You're just like, damn, I survived. I mean, I did take out at an Irish pub, so I can relate. You know? Yeah, you're like, me? Same. I get it. Been there. Been there. You know, it's crazy. [53:48] I would pick the autopsy again, because... [53:51] Because you did it. I just want to do it again. You just want to do it again. Can you, like, go back and do autopsies? I don't know. I feel like... Do you need a license? Or is it, like, a degree? Text the doctor I worked under and just be like, Hi, can I pop in? Yeah. Can I just pop in real quick? Quick little clavicle break. Throw in some gloves, see what I can do. Do you guys still have the Home Depot? I feel like you guys need a cranium opened. Yeah. I do remember how to do that. It's fine. Wild. Yeah. Middle of the night in a morgue is crazy, because you will, like, get yourself completely psyched out. Oh.

[54:21] I would lose it. Walking into the refrigerator, you're like, who's going to sit up? Like, someone's going to do something. Tell the story about the guy with the... [54:29] You know, when you were like, wait a second. Oh! I was like, I can't really say this without rooting it. So once in a while, if there's air trapped... [54:37] if you push a certain way or you move the body a certain way, they will release that air and it will sound like... [54:44] like a breath coming out. My jaw is on the floor. And it happened once the entire time I worked out that. And it scared the shit out of me. Did you scream? I was like, this one's alive. Like, I was like, we fucked up. We got alive, Monde. I was like, we fucked this up, guys. Yeah. And then you feel weird. [55:05] performing the autopsy because you're like are you sure they're not this is that's what that was like yeah it was a lot [55:12] Yeah, that's horrible. Were you ever desensitized to seeing bodies like that? Probably. [55:19] probably like what like early on in the beginning how did you like overcome that in the beginning it was crazy but i think i like immediately went into like well you always wanted to turn it off mode because i always wanted to so i think i just went in there and i was so determined to not be that person that faints your first day in there oh my god did somebody faint well it's happened a lot apparently i didn't see anybody but we did have like medical students who would come in and which i was like this is not for you they would have to leave like some of them would leave and be like i [55:49] feel sick or I feel I don't feel well it's a lot I can't yeah sensory overload and there's just a lot yeah that's a lot of smells a lot of smells like a lot of sounds yeah a lot of stuff and when I first went in there it's true there's a lot of squelching a lot of squelch and when I first went in there all of the like the first day they were like okay come in they're showing me around and I'm like okay cool and he's like this is the the stool that I want you to sit on if you feel like you're gonna pass out don't sit on that stool sit on this one I was like okay and then he was like

[56:19] that sink not this sink and i was like people throw up like i was like what's going on he's like just in case like it's happened and i don't want you to throw up in here because we'll have to clean it like immediately and i was like oh okay you said noted but i was like i am not gonna throw up and i'm not gonna have to sit down and you didn't nice hell yeah it's a lot [56:38] It's definitely a lot. I would throw up and pass out and probably die. Then they'd do the autopsy on you right then. Yeah, we'd be like, oh, we got a fresh one. Yeah, we'd be like, well, this is easy. No transport needed. Boom. Just throw me on the table. Yeah. [56:51] All right. One more Assist K question. So Assist K or wash dishes for 12 hours on a Valentine's Day show. Okay, I do love washing dishes. I do too. I find it. [57:01] Soothing. Cathartic soothing, yeah. But... [57:04] I'm not doing that. I've graduated from my just watching days, I think. No, thank you. We'll not do it. It was a scare. Me and Kay are. Me and Kay are buddying up. [57:12] Yeah, and Kay wouldn't have to wash any of the tools. No, that's probably Windows's job. Hand that to some technicians. There you go. Yeah. I think I'm with you there. Yeah. [57:21] Yeah, again, I'm assisting Kay. [57:23] I think this is my first K-Assist. I'm with K all day. I'm like, hi, K, I'm Ash. Hi, I'm arrived. [57:31] So would you rather be interrogated by detectives for eight hours or... [57:37] Be judged by a panel of extremely mean celebrity chefs about your cooking. That sounds so scary. Which I think are two very, like... [57:46] relatable things. Yeah. Like very similar. Yeah. [57:49] Okay, I grew up in the world of cooking competition, so we would compete and then you'd get...

[57:55] blasted by judges at the end for everything you did wrong. So I can withstand that one. So I'm going to mean celeb chefs. [58:02] You just have thick skin. You have to. You have to. In that industry. [58:06] I would assume so. Well, and I feel like... [58:08] being interrogated, they could make you admit to something that you didn't do. A hundred percent. I'm so afraid of that. The mind games. I would just be like, I did it. I did it. I'm getting out of here. I did it. I'm sorry. Yeah. Meanwhile, you're fighting back about your dish. You're like, I put that in there. I don't know what I would do because the other day I made chicken thighs and I think I overcooked them. And one of my 10-year-olds said this was a little chewy and it literally ruined my life. You know, I actually, I don't have children, but I have thought about how heartbroken I [58:38] them kids will tell you oh yeah even if you make them like an amazing meal they're like this is i feel probably the more amazing you go they don't like yeah yeah they're like where are my nuggies yeah they were she was nice about it because it was i know she was nice oh no i didn't think that it was the oldest she was nice and she was like i loved it like the and she even was like she literally gave me like a judge answer and she was like it was just like a little chewy and i was like [59:05] what like i asked john was it chewy and he was like no it's just like chicken thigh and i was like you didn't that was no but like you know but you didn't give me the absolutely not it was not chewy and i was like i fucked it up and chicken thighs are super moist they are i know so yeah i really did you did i did i realized okay but i thought about it for days what would gordon ramsey say oh my god we have a gordon ramsey question we do oh no okay and oh my god we're there actually

[59:35] Would you rather be chased by a killer through a grocery store or chased by Gordon Ramsey through a kitchen because you burned his risotto? The risotto! The risotto! [59:46] Oh, my gosh. You know, I, despite being a big boy, I'm a pretty fast runner. [59:54] I think I could get away from the killer. Okay. I think I could. All right. I've got some strong legs. Your car's right in the parking lot. Right. Maybe I'm sitting in the parking lot waiting for me and I'm just going to hop right in. [1:00:05] I do not want to be chased by Gordon Ramsay. I don't either. I don't either. Yeah. I'll go killer. Yeah. I'm going killer. Okay. Fair. Yeah. Because I would have a lot to say about him. I know that we're like, fuck that. Yeah. From what I've heard, he's actually like so nice. Totally. I have heard that too. But he, it's just like, he turns it up for the persona. Yeah. Yeah. He is on a new show where it's a lot more about like mentoring, I think. And I'm like, I appreciate that. Yeah. I like that. Because that would be wild to have like your old, like your thing is like you are. Yeah. Just a yelling asshole. Right. [1:00:35] idiot sandwich you can't go back for a time to go back legendary but i love it so much it's true all right would you rather solve the case but never know the killer's motive [1:00:46] Or know the motive, but never catch them. Oh my god. [1:00:51] It's a tough one. This is a really tough one. I know it is. [1:00:54] Because without knowing the motive, there's just no closure. Exactly. In my opinion, as you guys say all the time. [1:01:03] Allegedly. Allegedly, in my opinion. But solving a case is solving a case. So I think solving the case. You're taking it off the streets. Yeah. I would reluctantly say that one. I know. Yeah. That's a tricky one. Because I want a motive. Yeah. It's very screened. We've covered some...

[1:01:19] cases that there was like no reason. Those are the spookiest ones. Yeah, and they just won't say it. Like even this one that we just read in post-mortem. Yeah, you don't really get them out of here. You don't know why. I know. Really. It's like... [1:01:28] It's always scarier for sure. Yeah. Crazy. All right. Back to celebrity shows. Beat Bobby Flay or crack the case with K. We were so excited. We were very excited about that. We actually screamed it at each other. [1:01:44] Oh, my gosh. It was like a brain mouth. I wish we had video of that. I know. [1:01:48] um oh my god you i i think i could kick bobby flay's butt really i think you could yeah totally let's do it bobby flay did you hear that you're obviously listening did you hear that you better it's going down bobby wait i really want to get you on beat bobby flay now let's start i want you to petition what would you make because i think i don't know how it works do i choose i think you get to choose [1:02:12] Because I think he's like, I can pick anything. Yeah. I'm Bobby Flay. You got to bring him down a pig. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You can think about it. I have to think. You can think. I have to think. Something in the Mexican realm. I feel like those are my flavors. That's your specialty. Those are my strong flavors. Everyone listening. [1:02:26] Make sure he gets on beat Bobby Flay. I actually think they've reached out to me before. You're like, I've actually had the opportunity to beat Bobby Flay. I think so. Keep doing it. Do it anyway. Do it anyway. It's fun. Why not? Because I think you could do it. Yeah. It will be behind you. I would throw it down. Hell yeah. You would beat Bobby Flay. Bobby's an old man now, isn't he? Oh, Bobby, he's coming for you. He's coming for you. Now let's go. Bobby comes next to you tomorrow. That was the best thing.

[1:02:56] To get Bobby Flay. Right there. You're old. Oh my god. I would crack the case with Kay. [1:03:02] I don't think I could beat Bobby Flay. Not with those chicken thighs. Not with those chicken thighs. You're right. I don't think I could beat Bobby Flay, but I would love to experience that. Yeah. Like, at least attempting. Yeah. You gotta try. Yeah. I think you would have a good chance. Thank you. A good crack at it. Thank you so much. What would your guys' go-tos be? [1:03:22] I would probably make my... Well, I probably wouldn't have time, but in an ideal world, I would make my short ribs. I make really good short ribs. I would make my chicken piccata. Oh, your chicken piccata is out of this world. Yeah. [1:03:33] Thank you. [1:03:34] No. [1:03:35] Your mac and cheese. Oh, my mac and cheese. My mac and cheese. I do believe Bobby Flay probably makes a really good mac and cheese. Absolutely. He probably uses like 83 cheeses. Yeah, that's true. [1:03:45] All right. We'll just, then we'll fist fight. [1:03:49] And then I'll win. There you go. Perfect. All right. Ginger against ginger. It's going down. All right. Would you rather be responsible for one perfect dish every single night or solve one perfect case every year? [1:04:03] Amen. [1:04:05] I think solve the perfect case once a year, but only because I get really bored in the kitchen. So if I'm making the same dish, even if it's perfect... [1:04:13] If I'm making that dish over and over. I'm bored. I'm easily bored. I can understand that. You need to be stimulated in the kitchen. Give me new things. I agree with you. I like that one too. I definitely want to solve the perfect case every year. That'd be rad. Let's go. Let's do it. Let's solve a case right now. Let's go. Bye guys. I'm wondering where Nancy Guthrie is. We'll solve it. I know. We have to go back to Arizona though. Sorry. Come on. Come on down. We do. We're coming. It's going to be like 95 degrees there next week so maybe don't come. We'll talk to you all. You know what?

[1:04:43] I'll zoom. Yeah. Let's plan more. Perfect. Okay, last question for would you rather. Would you rather have Scarpetta examine your kitchen like it's a crime scene or have a restaurant critic analyze your cooking like it's forensic evidence? Damn. [1:04:58] Okay, I don't think I would let Scarpetta in my kitchen because unfortunately it is a little unorganized right now. Okay. Like, I will be honest. Sometimes I let it go. Yeah, she would call you out. And she would not be impressed. She'd be like, what the hell, Riley? Yeah, yeah. [1:05:13] Ryan's microplanes. [1:05:17] She's like, is there foot cheese in there? She's like, I know my foot cheese. She's like, DNA is on that. She's like, that shit would glitter. [1:05:25] Yeah. That shit would glisten. So I'm going restaurant critic. Analyze my cooking. [1:05:31] I would not have Scarpetta examine my kitchen. No, my kitchen is messy. I would have her examine my kitchen, and I'd just be like, you know what? How do I improve? It is what it is, girl. I don't know. But a food critic would stress me out. [1:05:46] yeah yeah that's fair yeah because again i have a little food critic that i created that's true i don't need to invite another i created three food critics that constantly tell me about i love that my my youngest favorite thing to say is when i put something in front of her she goes that looks disgusting but i bet it tastes good though and i'm like damn my heart like just broke that looks disgusting but i bet it tastes good and then she'll eat it and she'll be like it does

[1:06:16] what does she find that what makes it look disgusting anything any kind of like sauce that we would think would be like oh my god yeah sauce is the best i love sauce i need like eight sauces on every meal like and especially like any kind of stew she's like this is heinous she's like why would you put this yeah she's like this dog food like one like a cottage pie that's oh yeah one time she ate my mac and cheese and she literally went [1:06:40] i was like i'm gonna go out of the back i'll be i'll be on back if you need me get out of here physically yeah i have every like layer i just remember you were like oh my god don't do that that is so i'm my youngest is ruthless she's hilarious like ruthless brutal then my oldest is like like very sweet she's the one that's like i loved the flavor it was gorgeous but like it was [1:07:10] And then my middle is like, I'll fucking eat anything. It's great. That's going to be so fascinating to juggle such big different personalities. It's always an adventure when I put a plate in front of all of them. It's never a full win across the board. I never get three out of three. [1:07:28] But you can't be making like three separate meals for all of them. Oh, yeah. You have to have like, you have like backup plans where it gets like less and less like a whole meal as you go back. Because it's like it ends up at like a peanut butter sandwich. If they don't like what I made at my house, I go, you want a peanut butter sandwich? I know all their backups that I know will work. So if that first one doesn't work, I'm like, okay, second in line is this. If that doesn't, you don't want that, then we're going to third in line. Momming is hard. It is hard.

[1:07:53] it's a lot hats off to you chef's hat off thank you my favorite too is when they'll love a meal the day before and then like two days later you'll make it again because i'm like that worked like they loved that and they'll be like what is this they're like you're like you're like the thing i made two days ago 48 hours ago [1:08:10] And they're like, no. They're like, I never said that. Gaslight, Gaslight, Gaslight. It's true. So true. Wow. Yeah. Kids are crazy. Dang. Alright, time for our bonus game. Bonus game? Morbid food crimes. [1:08:28] I don't know. Find a fun sound there. That's the theme song. So, what do you think? Somebody cuts their steak with the side of a fork instead of a knife. Minor offense or ban them from the kitchen forever? No. [1:08:38] Okay, I'm giving them a questionable side eye because I appreciate the ingenuity of, you know, figuring it out. But I'm like, are you well? [1:08:50] Wait, what is your feeling if somebody orders their steak like extra, extra well done? Okay, so one thing about me is I want people to have the food experience that they want. I love that. [1:08:58] And if somebody like my mom likes her steak, well done. And I'm like, we're at a restaurant paying you. If it's some Michelin star, beautiful course out thing where like the chef is putting a ton of intention into all the details and everything. [1:09:11] Obviously, it's not okay. Mm-hmm. [1:09:12] But if you go to, like, a steakhouse and want a fucking baked potato with a well-done steak, that is your prerogative. Hell yeah. And you should not be judged. Hell yeah. I love that. Yeah. Elena feels so sweet. I really do. I feel that so deeply. I love that. People are allowed to eat food how they want it. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. I'm sorry for your steak. Hell yeah. I'm side-eyeing you, but... But Jeff Riley is not. It's not my... Yeah.

[1:09:38] I love that. All right. The next one is someone insists their air fryer can cook. [1:09:43] Anything. Kitchen innovation or cult behavior. [1:09:47] I'm not. [1:09:48] The chef in me says... [1:09:50] Choke on a chicken bone. [1:09:52] I feel caught. But I will say, like, there is an energy conscious person in me who also hates cooking for myself. So I can appreciate... [1:10:03] The quick little air fryer. The quick little air fryer moment. Sometimes you just have to roast a vegetable in the air fryer so it doesn't take like 35 minutes in the oven. Yep. And also they're very energy conscious. Yeah. Which is nice. Nice. Me. Save the planet. I make my hard boiled eggs in the air fryer. That is so insane. No, it takes so much less time. [1:10:22] I'm telling you, I found it out on TikTok, so this is your fault. This is your fault. It works. You have to take responsibility. What do you think I'm like a hard-boiled egg creator? You take responsibility for all of TikTok. I'm like, I don't know, you're on TikTok. That's your fault. TikTok, my bad, guys. I have TikTok videos. My bad. Sorry about the eggs. I'm sorry about TikTok. It works. Just because it can work doesn't mean that you have to do it that way. It works 100% of the time, and I can't do it the other way. Okay. I will say I like hard-boiled eggs better the old-fashioned way. [1:10:52] they taste exactly the same i just don't believe that they do yeah i feel like the air fryer ones are like rubbery that's that's exactly how i feel i completely disagree but i like we're gonna whip out the air fryer we're gonna like competition yeah me and bobby play we're getting bobby play we're like this is what we'd like to make air fryer he's like you can't come on the show no i like mine like not i like mine like a medium okay jammy is i love a jammy egg so it's perfect

[1:11:22] do you? You're like, I believe that people deserve their food the way they do. Except your rubber-ass eggs. You said stop doing that. I draw a line. [1:11:33] Oh, Lord. Okay, I might feel seen again or cut again. Somebody reheats fish in the office microwave. Immediate jail time. Are you joking? You're walking the plank, you're covered in salmon skin, and you're jumping into water full of sharks. Go die. [1:11:52] Elena loves to say like you're the person in the office that reheats fish. I have never reheated fish in this office. But it's the vibe. She brings in smelly food and she heats it up. And we're always like. My smelly food that I heat up is like broccoli. [1:12:06] Okay. Or like Brussels sprouts and onions. I eat really good, okay? Does that need to be microwaved? Yeah, I can't eat it cold. I don't know. [1:12:16] i'm very self-conscious of that stuff like on an airplane if somebody like whips out beef jerky or something i'm like oh yeah you don't care about anyone but yourself i yeah felony everything feels illegal i know yeah yeah lawless it's true it's true it's law so immediate jail time immediate jail no you're walking the plank wow pushing you off the plane it's true wow [1:12:37] Well, I've never reheated fish. And I will, like, you always say that, but I don't. I do. I microwave my salmon. It just feels like that was the next step in your evolution. I wouldn't reheat fish in general. [1:12:48] that's just like I've been big into my meal prepping lately and I have like salmon that I just like cook and then I microwave it it's not it's not my finest moment I've never microwaved salmon

[1:13:00] How long do you feel like salmon lasts? [1:13:02] I'm always really paranoid about people's food. Paranoia is fascinating to me because my, the thing I always tell people is like, you will know when your food is bad. Okay. Like the, it'll smell, it'll smell, it'll be slimy. It'll look different. Like I'm super paranoid, all of those things. And also food lasts like way longer than people. You sound exactly like my grandpa right now. It's true. It's all these like food protect, not all, a lot of these food protections. I know you guys are like, grab the milk from the back early. Aren't you? Yeah. Yeah. I remember, remember that about you. [1:13:32] labels of like the sell by date and stuff are not like for us that's for their protection to be like the best buy because isn't there a difference between best buy and sell by maybe but it's still it's like it's mostly for them it's mostly for them for their protection okay is my like [1:13:46] conspiracy theory. I know. Which is proved. eggs last so much longer. Yeah, they last way longer than the carton says. That I'm fine with. And eggs don't need to be refrigerated. I just found out. Well, because when you think about it... They do in the States. [1:13:59] Oh, Debbie says they do need to be refrigerated. Eggs do need to be refrigerated in the States. Is it farm fresh eggs? Farm fresh eggs that have not been washed or anything should sit out. Oh, okay. Because they have a protective membrane on the outside. But when they've been processed. [1:14:13] Yeah, they get like big batch farm eggs that you're getting are washed, which is good for health and safety things, practices. But that's why we keep ours out or in the fridge. I'm glad that I didn't buy that rooster where you could put all your eggs in it on TikTok shop the other day. Remember I told you I was going to buy that? You did tell me that. I was like, why was I about to buy that? Yeah, and I was like, I'm not really sure. I have a problem when it comes to TikTok shops. It's weird, too, because we grew up in a house. My dad was in the submarine service, so he was like in the submarine for months. I think that's why we are the way we are.

[1:14:43] chunk of mold on a piece of cheese and you cut it off and he was like we couldn't go anywhere in the sub well we were saying we're not under we're not on the stove like what the fuck i mean me personally i push stuff like i would be totally fine doing that if i'm cooking for other people i'm not doing that but like when like food stuff for me i'm like ryan and i butt heads about this because he [1:15:06] he's gotten more lenient but like he used to be like oh the this was sell by today it's going in the garbage i'm like no don't waste it yeah it's true this is an interesting debate [1:15:16] It is. I feel like people feel so differently about these things. It's true. They really do. But we all feel the same. Don't reheat fish in the office. Yeah, don't do that. Or broccoli. And one that I think could start battles across space and time. Pineapple on pizza. [1:15:33] you can have the keys to the city not because i love the combo for me but again do you innovation yeah you do it i was literally born in hawaii i was meant for that yeah [1:15:46] That's, I don't, like, I've had it before. I think it was Debbie who actually had me try it first. And I was like, this isn't bad. Yeah. But I was like, I don't think I'd order this. I think also, depending on what you pair it with. So you got, like, the sweet, tangy tart. So, like, it goes well with, like, pepperoni or, like, sausage or something that's, like, fatty and likes that. Yeah. Or if you put a little hot sauce on the top of it. I love hot sauce on pizza. Oh, jalapeno. Yes. So sliced holly, pineapple, and, like, sausage. Oh, yeah. See?

[1:16:16] that in public thank you so much do what you want what about pickles on pizza no thank you i thought we were so compatible i'm not i there's something i hate about myself is i'm not a huge pickle girly really i love pickles i like certain ones but i'm not like across the board pickles the only kind of pickles i don't like are the bread and butter kind see the i think those are the [1:16:46] I like all pickles, I think. I don't reach for the bread and butter ones, but I've had them on a sandwich before, and they... [1:16:53] i like it they can do it in a sammy yeah all right final question this one i think you're you might explode using a chef's knife to cut open a package what is the appropriate sentence the eternity in the metal forge making knives for people is your payment that is diabolical it is really honestly especially if you like spend money on good knives yeah what are you doing what is your preferred knife [1:17:18] I mean, it changes based on what I'm doing. And then also, like, if it's just for home or what I'm recommending to people. What do you recommend? I like a good, like, for home, Coke's like a good German steel knife. Okay. Yeah. Because those, like, hold their edge a little bit better than, like, a Japanese steel, which was a little thinner. Okay. Interesting. That's good to know. I don't know. I forget what kind of knives I have. I have a ton. I bet. But I'll just kind of, like, rotate them through for whatever project I need. That makes sense. I like that. Yeah. This was so much fun. This was. Such a hoot.

[1:17:48] Oh my God. I love you. I need to come back on. Oh my God. Literally whenever. Like truly. We're having you back. I think we decided what we were covering in the middle of that, but I forget already. [1:17:59] Mmm. [1:18:00] Last Meals. Oh, Last Meals. Last Meals. We'll do a whole thing about Last Meals. Oh, we have to. Oh, we could do a deep dive on, like, Death Row people and what they ate. There's some crazy Last Meals. John and Gacy's craziest. Yeah. Some of them are nuts. Yeah, they're wild. Yeah. Okay, before we go, we do have to thank our sponsor, Ashley. We absolutely are obsessed with Ashley. Actually, our next book club that we're going to be filming, we will have our furniture delivered. I'm so excited for that. So our next book club will have our furniture so you guys can actually see it yourselves. [1:18:30] they have a ton of good furniture. The best. All right. So everybody, before we let you go, go order a little bit extra. Yes. She's a debut cookbook. She's a beaut. She's a beaut. There's so many good recipes in here. Literally for everyone. For everybody. There's cooking tips. There's kitchen tips. [1:18:46] So much good stuff. And we'll put the link in the show notes for where you can order it. So we hope you buy this. And where can people follow you? [1:18:54] Oh, I'm at Chef Riley Meehan on all platforms. It's so easy. Go follow his face. Follow this face. Follow that face. I just got microneedled. I did, yeah. Follow it. Yeah, you better follow it. Now's the time to follow it. Now you have one of all the time. Get it now on the ground floor. It's fresh. [1:19:11] All right, so we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weird. But not so weird that you don't go order a little bit extra and follow this face. Yay! Yay!

[1:19:24] Bye, guys. [1:19:54] Thank you. [1:20:24] Thank you. [1:20:53] thank you again to ashley for sponsoring today's episode ashley is the largest furniture store brand in north america and they're focused on helping people create a comfortable functional and stylish home they can feel proud of at a price that feels accessible and reassuring with eye-catching designs ashley can bring a balance of timeless appeal and modern trends

[1:21:23] easy to clean, and stain-resistant with machine washable cushion covers are great for anyone who's ever been worried about owning a white sofa. Plus, Ashley provides fast, reliable white glove delivery right to your room of choice. Visit your local Ashley store or head to ashley.com to find your style.